released September 3, 2022

8==GET YOU OFF==D

Gird your loins as this remix may induce a premature e-jack-you-elation. This protuberant preamble was chopped and screwed by none other than Joel Bonner of Serene Fiend fame. Dropped off by the sex stork, this edumacation in goth-funk iteration might just stick a fork (or something thicker and sicker) in you before the main inter-course.

LET'S GET FIZICAL

Not to be mistaken for Olivia Newton-John's workout song of long ago, this medical themed melody came at a high deductible after a pleasantly malfeasant check-up at the hospital. Featuring a borrowed drum sequence from Loose Endz "Hangin' On a String" and an electric piano patch that just might make Billy Joel pull "My Life" from grocery store radio rotation, this pandemic-penned tune might just give you the mumps where your cute little butt bumps.

DUBBLE TRUBBLE

One of the earliest Syndicate recordings has finally crawled from the cleft of our electronic nether regions, and it's got more bees than a honey trap. It's a celebration of all things bootiful and bouncimous, like an Atomic Dog whizzing on a Zapp gun. And when the bottom drops out on this one, Sugar Ray ain't got nothing left to say.

DELICIOUS (ASTERALES CHA-CHING MIX)

As yet another sneak peak at the upcoming MAGNUM DANGUS, we tapped pro-flow-ducer Nate Holt a.k.a. Asterales to give the lead track from that album a thrice-over thrashing, and what has come of it is what dreams are creamed from. More of a mood than just a groove, this track proves you can keep brooding while working those glutes.

BAD GIRL

If you haven't gotten word that the Syndicate owes a great debt of gratitude to the band Slave, this track should make it clear. Featuring a searing guitar solo by Sam "The Pipe Layin' Playa" Piper, it's a loving nod to our heroes from Ohio. And if you haven't heard Slave's album "Bad Enuff" you need to rectify your rectum before it gets infected with bad vibes.

WE CAN FUNK

Some may say we aren't worthy of even attempting to utter the sounds that Prince Rogers Nelson gave us before departing this planet, but I would like to think that his music demands eternal contemplation, appreciation, and reconstitution. While existing in several different recorded versions on more obscure releases, the core of "We Can Funk" (and sometimes called "We Can F**k") has been an inspiration in terms of aesthetic, subject matter, structure, and funktion. We are nothing if not the echoes of those that came before us, and there will be more of us to come if we can keep it up with a funk like this one.


Softcore Syndicate is:
Drrty Dick Dangle, Esq. - digs, giggles, and jigs
Dr. Steve Lovecraft - stabs, wiggles, crystals, whispers
Daniel Glascock - smacks, bumps, claps, cracks
Sam Piper - meedle-ee-mees and wah-wahs on BAD GIRL

All songs recorded, mixed, and mastered by Daniel Glascock at ORBS 2015-2022 except

LET'S GET FIZICAL mastered by Luke Tweedy at Flat Black Studios 2021.

8==GET YOU OFF==D
Remix by Joel Bonner of Serene Fiend
serenefiend.bandcamp.com

DELICIOUS (ASTERALES CHA-CHING MIX)
Remix by Nate Holt of Asterales
asterales.bandcamp.com

BAD GIRL
Written by Mark Adams, Jimmy Douglass, and Eugene Jackson of Slave. Original recording can be found on the album Bad Enuff (1983)

WE CAN FUNK
Written by Prince. This recording was most inspired by the January '84 vault recording of "We Can F**k" featuring Wendy and Lisa that can be found on the Deluxe reissue of "Purple Rain"